I am supremely sorry to bring you guys such terrible news, but the end times are coming. Whether you are a hardcore Romeroian who believes that the zombies will be slow-moving undead that can only be sent back to the grave with a shot to the brain or if you're more keen on the fast-moving plague victims from "28 Days Later", you have to realize that the zombie apocalypse is surely near. "Zombie fever" may just be a phrase indicating fandom of the genre, but soon it will mean that the pits of Hades are full and the dead now walk the earth. So which zombie t-shirts would suit you best? I think it may have something to do with what type of survivor you'll be.
Did you stockpile a bunch of water and granola in your basement when the Y2K scare rattled America? Well, you may be the Hoarder survivor in our zombie scenario. You aren't going anywhere for any reason. Your plan consists of outlasting the undead by stocking up on food, guns, ammo, and water. You likely had a stockpile of these things already in preparation for nuclear fallout, but it works just as well for a zombie outbreak. The chances for a Hoarder to survive is decent, but not great. His reluctance to relocate may be his downfall. You may be a Hoarder if you own ALL of the zombie t-shirts.
One of the best (and worst) survivor types to run across in this dystopian wasteland are the Combatants. Combatants are hardcore to the bone, and probably have some extensive knowledge of martial skills from their lives pre-apocalypse. They are gruff and no-nonsense. The only problem is that they tend to come in two varieties: the kind who will fight their way to safety through a mass of zombie flesh, and the kind who will fight anyone who crosses their path. These guys have no intention of saving humanity, just themselves and (hopefully) their friends. These guys have a great knack for surviving, and will most likely be wearing zombie t-shirts that feature large caliber weapons on them.
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
Admittedly, zombie apparel is not going to help you live through the coming cataclysm. When the zombies come, the world is going to crumble into a very untidy pile. All of the plans you've been laying are going to be nothing so important as dust in the wind. If you're not one of these crazy people who are stockpiling guns, food, and water...then your chances are pretty slim, no matter what type of category you fall into. The only thing you'll have to look forward to is a bit of excitement before you're forced to join the zombie horde.
Did you stockpile a bunch of water and granola in your basement when the Y2K scare rattled America? Well, you may be the Hoarder survivor in our zombie scenario. You aren't going anywhere for any reason. Your plan consists of outlasting the undead by stocking up on food, guns, ammo, and water. You likely had a stockpile of these things already in preparation for nuclear fallout, but it works just as well for a zombie outbreak. The chances for a Hoarder to survive is decent, but not great. His reluctance to relocate may be his downfall. You may be a Hoarder if you own ALL of the zombie t-shirts.
One of the best (and worst) survivor types to run across in this dystopian wasteland are the Combatants. Combatants are hardcore to the bone, and probably have some extensive knowledge of martial skills from their lives pre-apocalypse. They are gruff and no-nonsense. The only problem is that they tend to come in two varieties: the kind who will fight their way to safety through a mass of zombie flesh, and the kind who will fight anyone who crosses their path. These guys have no intention of saving humanity, just themselves and (hopefully) their friends. These guys have a great knack for surviving, and will most likely be wearing zombie t-shirts that feature large caliber weapons on them.
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
Admittedly, zombie apparel is not going to help you live through the coming cataclysm. When the zombies come, the world is going to crumble into a very untidy pile. All of the plans you've been laying are going to be nothing so important as dust in the wind. If you're not one of these crazy people who are stockpiling guns, food, and water...then your chances are pretty slim, no matter what type of category you fall into. The only thing you'll have to look forward to is a bit of excitement before you're forced to join the zombie horde.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar